Suicide isn’t
a topic one might think would be worthy of a whole photographic exhibition.
Particularly in Kenya where mental illness generally and suicide specifically
are so imbued with taboos that whole families have been known to suffer when a
single family member commits suicide.
But Spanish
photojournalist Patricia Esteve wasn’t deterred by the stigma often associated
with suicide when she set out to examine the whole topic, ultimately to produce
a multimedia exhibition like ‘Out of this Life: Let’s Talk Suicide’ which is
currently up at the Kenya Cultural Centre gallery.
Patricia Esteve with 'Nature', which some survivors say has been saving grace in their lives
A project
that has taken her three years to produce, Patricia (who worked as a
photojournalist with Spanish media before coming to Kenya six years ago)
collaborated with several organizations and individuals involved with mental
health issues in Kenya and Africa generally.
The outcome
of her initiative is to a show that is part ethnographic, part poetic and
wholly grounded in the grassroots experiences of individuals, families and
organizations that specialize in counselling Kenyans who are either suicidal or
have first-hand experience with family or friends who’ve suffered the stigma of
suicide.
A mother at the place where her son committed suicide
For Patricia’s
photographs form only a portion of the showcase. She also shares a slew of
hand-written letters from people she interviewed and asked to share their
feelings about the issue. The letters fill a whole wall in the gallery, next to
one photograph of all the local press clippings about suicide that she’s
collected since her project began.
She also
created a video of three people she interviewed during last Thursday night’s (20th
April) exhibition opening. “I interviewed more than three, but as I am working
alone [photographically], I’m still working on the editing,” says Patricia who
is hard pressed to explain why suicide peeked her interest as a topic to
photograph.
She
initially says it was partly out of curiosity and not because anyone close to
her had committed suicide. But then she admits she has a penchant as a
photojournalist for doing projects on ‘marginalized’ people, be they homeless
or drug addicted or people who’ve lost everything, be it family, money or
social status.
Their lives
may look hopeless, but Patricia says, as she reflects back on her first photo
project on the marginalized which she entitled ‘Half Kg’ (since that was the
quantity the addicts often looked for). She adds that she sought them out
because she “wanted to dignify them.”
Sitawa Wafula still has her tattoo of Jesus on her hand as a remembrance of her mental issues
“They were
people who nobody cared about, so I found them very open to telling me their
stories and letting me take their photographs.”
Then once
she came to Kenya with her family six years ago, Patricia was struck by the
fact that in addition to mental health issues being stigmatized, attempted
suicide specifically is actually a crime, according to Kenya’s Penal Code. So
while her show isn’t explicitly about human rights, her discomfort with the
injustice of incarcerating the mentally ill contributed to her seeking out
individuals like Sitawa Wafula, the award-winning blogger and poet who’s used
the USD25,000 Google award to establish her website info@mymindmyfunk.com which
offers free mental health counseling, not only in Kenya but around the world
through TED talks and other public fora.
Patricia
also found organizations like Befrienders.org and Postpartum Depression Island (ppdisland.com)
which helped her to make contact with people whose stories feature in the
exhibition.
But Patricia’s
photographs don’t only focus on individuals who attempted suicide, although
there are several ‘survivors’ in the show, a number of whom she found through an
NGO called ‘Users and Survivors of Psychiatry in Kenya’ (USPKENYA).
One such
survivor is Samoina who attempted suicide following the birth of her child and
the depression that ensued. But Samoina was able to recognize her mental
problem and go on to found ‘Postpartum Depression Island’ where she offers
counselling to mothers afflicted with the same sort of depression that led her
to try suicide.
But Patricia’s
also photographed the bereaved, including individuals like Neerah and Diana
both of whom lost their best friends to suicide. She includes one image of a father’s
suicide note as well as one of the church where he set himself ablaze.
One of the
most tragic stories that Patricia reveals in the exhibition is of the mother
whose ten year old boy hanged himself after being reprimanded by her for not
completing his homework. She doesn’t take a photo of the mother or the boy,
only his favorite armed chair which the mother draped with one of her favorite
kangas. She also took a shot of the garden where he was found soon after he
died. The mother’s grief is unspeakable but the community’s judgment of her as
well as the media’s coverage of it is painfully implied in the imagery.
Not all of
the storied photographs are as tragic as these. For instance, Msingizi, who’s
holding a delicate milkweed blossom in the photo featured on the exhibition’s
invitation card, is one case of a young man who stepped back from that fatal
choice before making the actual attempt.
But of the
three people interviewed in her video, only two are survivors. David had
already attempted suicide three times before Patricia met him for their
interview. He didn’t survive his fourth attempt.
The second
interviewee, Anita is alive. But when her father poisoned himself, her
community attributed his death to evil spirits for which her whole family was cruelly
punished. She had to move out of her ancestral homeland and now lives in
another part of East Africa.
The third
survivor is George, a young man who as an LGBTQ activist chose to ‘come out’
and tell the world that he was gay. But depression and loneliness followed. He
too survives and stays in a shelter for other LGBTQs.
But besides
shooting photos of survivors, family and friends, Patricia also has created
images inspired by things people have told her of their experience. For
instance, a dry, gnarled tree branch echoes a description of suicide that one
survivor shared. He said it was like “a dark dark hole”, which is what one can
see in the image.
Another
survivor told her she had gone outside to kill herself. But then, when she
looked up at the sky and felt so awed by the stars and the infinite universe
above that she changed her mind. Thus, there’s one starry black sky in the
exhibition.
Starry Skies by Patricia Esteve
There’s even an image of a leafy canopy of trees, which Patricia included because she says several survivors told her that nature had been a soothing presence in their lives.
There’s even an image of a leafy canopy of trees, which Patricia included because she says several survivors told her that nature had been a soothing presence in their lives.
Even the
title of the exhibition “Out of this Life” came out of the mouth of one person
she interviewed. “In fact, I came to the conclusion that many who attempt
suicide don’t necessarily want to die. They simply feel overwhelmed with an
intense sense of pressure and want to take a rest.
“As one
person told me, “I wanted a way ‘out of this life’. I thought that was an appropriate title for
this show,” says Patricia who hopes her project will advance a broader
understanding of what suicide is all about.
“Out of this Life” has been shortlisted for the CAP Prize for Contemporary African Photography,
the winners of which will be announced later this year.
Patricia Esteve with press clips from Kenya media on suicide
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